Ajahn Maha Boowa's (an arhant from Thailand) experience with
'Atman'/'Brahman', which he calls 'the Ultimate Danger'
from 'Arahattamagga-Arahattaphala: The Path to Arahantship'
http://www.forestdhammabooks.com/index.php?page=View&book=3&file=books/3/html/2.html
Speaking of this reminds me of the time when I practiced at Wat Doi
Dhammachedi. It was early in the morning, just before the meal. At
that time my citta possessed a quality so amazing that it was
incredible to behold. I was completely overawed with myself. I
thought, Oh my! Why is this citta so amazingly radiant? I stood
on my meditation track and contemplated its brightness, incredulous
about how wondrous it appeared. But, in fact, this very radiance
that I found so amazing represented the Ultimate Danger. Do you see
my point?
We tend to fall for the radiant citta. In truth, I was enthralled
and already deceived by it. You see, when nothing else remains, one
concentrates on this final point of focus, which, as the center of
the perpetual cycle of birth and death, actually manifests a
condition of fundamental ignorance we call avijja. This point of
focus is the highest state of avijja, the very pinnacle of the
citta in samsara.
Since nothing else remained at that stage, I simply admired
avijjas expansive radiance. Still, that radiance did have
a focal point. It can be compared to the filament of a pressure
lantern. The filament glows brightly, and the light streams out to
illuminate the surrounding area. That was the crucial
consideration, the one that so amazed and struck me with awe then,
causing me to wonder, Why is my citta so incredibly bright? It
seems as though it has completely transcended the world of samsara.
Look at that! Such is the magnificent power that avijja displays
when we reach the final stage of practice. I didnt yet realize
that I had fallen for avijjas deception.
Then suddenly, spontaneously, a maxim of Dhamma arose, as if
someone had spoken in my heart. How could I ever forget: If there
is a point or a center of the knower anywhere, that is the nucleus
of existence. Just like the bright center in the filament of a
pressure lantern. Look at that! It told me exactly what I needed to
know: this very point is the essence of existence. But even then, I
could not grasp the meaning. I was bewildered. A point, a center
it meant the focal point of that radiance.
I began investigating that point after the Venerable Acariya Mun
passed away: If there is a point or a center of the knower
anywhere, that is the nucleus of existence. Had he still lived
then, my confusion would immediately have elicited this answer from
him: Its that focal point of the radiance! And then, that point
would have instantly disintegrated. For as soon as I understood its
significance, I would also have known its harmfulness, thus causing
it to vanish. Instead, I was still carefully protecting and
preserving it.
The Ultimate Danger, then, lies right there. The point of Ultimate
Danger is the core of brilliant radiance that produces the entire
world of conventional reality. I will remember always. It was the
month of February. Venerable Acariya Muns body had just been
cremated, and I had gone into the mountains. There I got stuck on
this very problem. It completely bewildered me. In the end, I
gained no benefit at all from the maxim of Dhamma that arose in my
heart. Instead of being an enormous boon to me, it became part of
the same enormous delusion that plagued me. I was confused: Where
is it, this point? It was, of course, just that point of radiance,
but it never occurred to me that the center of that radiant citta
could be the Ultimate Danger. I still believed it to be the
Ultimate Virtue. This is how the kilesas deceive us. Although I had
been warned that it was the Ultimate Danger, it still cast a spell
on me, making me see it as the Ultimate Virtue. Ill never forget
how that dilemma weighed on me.
Eventually I left Wat Doi Dhammachedi and went to Sri Chiang Mai in
Ban Pheu district. I stayed there for three months, living deep in
the forest at Pha Dak Cave, before returning to Wat Doi Dhammachedi
with that mystery still weighing heavily on my mind. Then, while
staying on the mountain ridge there, the problem was finally
solved.
When that decisive moment arrives, affairs of time and place cease
to be relevant; they simply dont intervene. All that appears is
the splendid, natural radiance of the citta. I had reached a stage
where nothing else was left for me to investigate. I had already
let go of everythingonly that radiance remained. Except for the
central point of the cittas radiance, the whole universe had been
conclusively let go. So, can you understand what I mean: that this
point is the Ultimate Danger?
(continued in the website)
...Then, from that neutral, impassive state of the citta, the
nucleus of existencethe core of the knowersuddenly separated and
fell away. Having finally been reduced to anatta, brightness and
dullness and everything else were suddenly torn asunder and
destroyed once and for all.
In that moment when avijja flipped over and fell from the citta,
the sky appeared to be crashing down as the entire universe
trembled and quaked. For, in truth, it is solely avijja that causes
us to wander constantly through the universe of samsara. Thus, when
avijja separated from the citta and vanished, it seemed as if the
entire universe had fallen away and vanished along with it. Earth,
skyall collapsed in an instant. Do you understand?.....
